my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
