My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
