Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
