Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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