went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
