You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize