I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
