next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
