so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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