i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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