that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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