she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
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