question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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