you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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