How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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