While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
