a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
