he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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