Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
