i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
