would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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