yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
