"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
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so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
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Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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