party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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