So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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