Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
