Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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