We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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