You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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