To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
How does one acquire holy water?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
