Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
