I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize
