omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
