Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
