I don't think brook has ever known best
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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