Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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