Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
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Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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