He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
