A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i need to put some appletini on your dick
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