Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Vodka?
Forever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
A+ Viking dick
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
