Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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