It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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