im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
