I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize