so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
