I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
