I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
