im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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