You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Randomize
