So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Sorry about my life...
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