We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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