my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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