Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have demons in me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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