I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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