Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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