what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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