I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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