with your own penis?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sponge bath it is.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
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So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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