Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
