So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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