living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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