So drunk its hurt
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
