That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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