you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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