he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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