You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
