i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
