the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize