I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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