another moral hangover. fuck.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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