it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
