I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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