the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
