Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
